Yesterday, I had three (in-person!) pastoral visits at Oshkosh Correctional. These are spaces of deep listening and bearing witness, as well as reflecting back to the prisoners their goodness and growth.
They’ve been told for so long that they’re worthless and bad, even inhuman. I see how trauma impacts them (their tender, human hearts). I see the generational cycle. And I’m profoundly inspired by their willingness to and effort in changing their inner life.
A theme arose in the messages I gave: It’s okay to not be okay; you don’t have to be the strong one; your emotions are normal.
As we enter Round 2 of the pandemic (before we’ve healed—even processed—the grief, trauma, and exhaustion from Round 1), we feel complex emotions! This is not a joyful, easy time.
That’s not to say there aren’t moments of joy, ease, and love. It’s to say that life is complicated, especially now. If you feel sad, frustrated, anxious, tired, burned out, or numb, you’re normal! There’s nothing wrong with you.
When we know we’re not alone—when we trust it’s okay to not be okay—we can express, process, and exist in a more real, wholehearted, brave way. We can ask for help. Or simply receive kindness. We can see ourselves in others and offer what little we can give.
For me, reading the news isn’t helpful. Comparing myself to others isn’t helpful. Yet sharing with y’all about what’s real and true: that’s helpful. Naming what’s hard opens a pathway to connection.
Today, I recorded two new meditations: “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay” and “Getting to Sleep (or Getting Back to Sleep).” These are free offerings on my website. You don’t need to sign up for anything. You don’t need to pay for anything. Allow yourself to receive:
It’s okay to not be okay.