It’s alluring to think we can wrap up life in a pretty bow. I fall into this habit again and again.
Just recently, we had our upstairs bathroom demolished and remodeled. This was the same week our Seeing class began. A week where I had many 1:1 client sessions via Zoom (eventually moving to the unfinished basement, with a bed sheet as my backdrop, to escape the noise). Also, I was heading into (this week) an intensive mindfulness training for preschool teachers.
I daydreamed—ad nauseam—about a clean, quiet house (with all projects finished!); copious time to attend to y’all—with ease and peace—while creating content; and a mindfulness training that would come off without a hitch. Ha! That’s not how life goes.
There will always be a house project. Sometimes, there will be intense periods of work. Often, mistakes happen and plans get interrupted. Just as I cannot keep my inbox at zero emails, I cannot wrap up life. And here’s the reality: I don’t want to.
The messiness of life keeps us real, humble, and compassionate. It connects us to each other and keep us awake (rather than on autopilot). Meditation teacher, Bonnie Duran, has a wonderful mantra:
Nothing is perfect.
Nothing is permanent.
Nothing is personal.
I wrote these words on a note card, which I’ve viewed often these past weeks. The mantra is its own 3-breath pause.
When life is especially messy, how do we relax into it? That’s a big ask! I believe it’s a re-frame of our thinking. We want a 180-degree shift—from anxiety to complete ease. Yet that’s unrealistic (and then we give up and keep living in discomfort). Another path is to make a 1- or 5-degree shift. Take the pauses. Make ordinary yet meaningful connections. Be kind to your body (ease your shoulders, soften your jaw, extend your exhalation).
These small shifts are doable. And they make a difference. They allow us to move through the messiness of life with a little more ease. Everyday mindfulness practices—including being present with your camera—shift our lives, little bit by little bit. Years later we look back and reflect, “Wow. Life is complex. Yet at a bare-bones level, I am okay.”
