recordings from our zoom meditation class

fridays, 8:15-9:00a central time

If you miss class yet are interested in the topic, come to this page. Get comfy and listen to the meditations. Contact me if you have questions, reflections, or requests. I love y’all!

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november 1, 2024

The election is Tuesday. Emotions are high. 

To be our best selves in this uncertain time, we need equanimity. A sense of balance. A steadiness and trust that we can be with everything. And a recognition that we have limited control.

In the words of Sharon Salzberg: "This universe is much too big to hold on to, but it is the perfect size for letting go."

This morning, we'll let go into the universe. We'll connect to the steadiness inside us (even when thoughts and emotions are swirling).

We'll begin with walking meditation and then shift into seated stillness, calming ourselves the whole way.

october 25, 2024

At Oshkosh Correctional on Monday, we talked about meaning and purpose. A sense of meaning is associated with happiness and wellbeing. Yet can they find meaning in prison? The answer was a resounding yes! 

They find meaning by helping others—giving material goods or listening or making other people art. They find meaning in music. They find meaning in being their best selves (after inhabiting their worst selves before entering prison).

It's important for us all to reflect on meaning and purpose. Where do we find it? How do we engage with it in regular ways? Are there new places to look? Are old meaning-makers no longer applicable?

Meaning gives us fulfillment and a deeper sense of contentment. This is especially helpful when life is hard! Meaning gives us a north star.

This morning, we'll reflect on meaning as we flow through our Friday meditation.

october 18, 2024

Mark, Luna, and I just spent three days in a cabin in the woods near Viroqua. We took long hikes together in forested hills and valleys. The colors were beautiful.

Nature is a wise teacher. The forest is unmoved by politics, wars, and turmoil. The trees stand and witness yet aren't overwhelmed. There's a steadiness to the forest; a trust in the natural order of things. Things change and then they change again. It's not good or bad, it just is.

Given the many difficult stories in our news (e.g., election, Gaza), as well as the challenges in our own lives, we'll return to mountain meditation. Mountains, just like the forest, have been around a long, long time. They've seen thousands of storms and they've remained steady.

This is not a meditation to detach. It's a meditation to sit within the storm and still feel calm.

Together, we'll cultivate and radiate a little more peace into this complex world.

october 11, 2024

Last week, after our loving-kindness practice, I was struck by Ruth's wise, honest words: "The hardest person for me to love is myself."

I think we can all relate!

In all the places I've taught mindfulness (schools, prisons, businesses, community classes), I've witnessed how hard we are on ourselves. We're harder on ourselves than anyone else in our life.

Yet this attitude is detrimental to our wellbeing. And even to our productivity!

The research on self-compassion tells us that people who practice self-compassion are more productive, resilient, and happy.

Self-love may feel far away but self-kindness is accessible. We'll explore this in today's meditation.

october 4, 2024

I feel called to loving-kindness.

The election is heating up. Wars continue to rage. Climate change has immediate and tragic impacts. There's a great deal of suffering in our world.

We can't control the suffering, but we can keep our hearts open. We can lean our hearts toward kindness.

We all want to be happy. We're all looking for more peace in our lives. Some of that seeking plays out in unskillful ways but the basic need is there for everyone.

When we practice loving-kindness, our edges soften. We're able to interact with more presence, patience, and compassion.

This morning, we'll bring loving-kindness to standing, walking, and sitting practice.

september 27, 2024

We continue with Jon Kabat-Zinn's 7 attitudinal foundations of mindfulness. So far, we've covered non-judging, patience, beginner's mind, trust, non-striving, and acceptance.

Today, we explore letting go.

The previous 6 attitudes guide us toward letting go, which is a hard process.

We tell ourselves or our friends, "just let go" or "I know I need to let go." But it's hard! 

If we trust in ourselves—our capacity to be with whatever arises—and we release striving—letting this moment be without manipulation or control—we more easily come to acceptance. This is how things are right now. And it's okay!

From a place of acceptance, we can let go.

Acceptance gives us clarity. This is how things are and it's okay. Pause, breathe. How do I skillfully move forward or make change?

If there's something you can do, great! If not, it's best to let go.

Interestingly, it's the holding on—the tightness—that allows us to notice how good it feels to let go. 

This morning, we'll explore letting go in movement and in stillness. You're warmly welcome just as you are.

september 20, 2024

We continue with Jon Kabat-Zinn's 7 attitudinal foundations of mindfulness. So far, we've covered non-judging, patience, beginner's mind, trust, and non-striving.

Today, we explore acceptance. Some quotes from Kabat-Zinn:

In our daily lives we often waste a lot of energy denying and resisting what is already fact. When we do that, we are basically trying to force situations to be the way we would like them to be, which only makes for more tension. This prevents positive change from occurring. We may be so busy denying and forcing and struggling that we have little energy left for healing and growing, and what little we have may be dissipated by our lack of awareness and intentionality.

You have to accept yourself as you are before you can really change."

Acceptance does not mean that you should stop trying to break free of your own self-destructive habits or to give up on your desire to change and grow, or that you should tolerate injustice. Acceptance simply means that you have come around to a willingness to see things as they are. This attitude sets the stage for acting appropriately in your life, no matter what is happening. You are much more likely to know what to do and have the inner conviction to act when you have a clear picture of what is happening than when your vision is clouded by your mind’s self-serving judgments and desires or its fear and prejudices.

It's an interesting paradox: accept things as they are AND work toward change.

Acceptance creates internal conditions (ease, openness, curiosity), which allow us to act more skillfully. When we see clearly—this is how things are right now—-we make better decisions. Plus, we're much more pleasant to be around!

Acceptance isn't resignation; it's more empowered than that. It's the feeding ground for freedom.

This morning, we'll explore acceptance through standing, walking, and seated meditation. You're welcome just as you are!

september 13, 2024

We continue with Jon Kabat-Zinn's 7 attitudinal foundations of mindfulness. We've already considered non-judging, patience, beginner's mind, and trust.

Today, we explore non-striving.

In general, striving can be helpful. It helps us get things done and move toward change. But in meditation, it can be an impediment.

From Kabat-Zinn:

If you sit down to meditate and you think, 'I am going to get relaxed, or get enlightened, or control my pain, or become a better person,' then you have introduced an idea into your mind of where you should be, and along with it comes the notion that you are not okay right now.

This attitude undermines the cultivation of mindfulness, which involves paying attention to whatever is happening. We are simply allowing anything and everything that we experience  to be here, because it already is.

Non-striving is related to trust. We trust in the moment; we trust that we're okay in this breath; we trust we have capacity to be with whatever arises.

When we strive, we're trying to fix and change and manage and control, and we never relax into the moment. We never allow ourselves to be fully present.

We can have aspirations for our practice--to be more compassionate or patient or skillful--yet we don't strain for it. These aspirations may not appear in a particular meditation and that's okay! 

If we're patient and we trust, we'll see the gold from our practice years down the road. Striving for it just puts it further out of reach.

This morning, through movement and stillness, we'll explore non-striving. Show up as you are! Because however you are, it's okay. 

september 6, 2024

We continue with Jon Kabat-Zinn's 7 attitudinal foundations of mindfulness. Previously, we explored non-judging, patience, and beginner's mind. Today, we look at trust.

Some quotes from Kabat-Zinn...

Developing a basic trust in yourself and your feelings is an integral part of meditation training. It is far better to trust in your intuition and your own authority, even if you make some mistakes along the way, than always to look outside of yourself for guidance.

It is impossible to become like somebody else. Your only hope is to become more fully yourself.

Besides trust in yourself, there are other things to trust:

• Trust in your practice. You're on a good path. Meditation helps in small and big ways. We don't always see fast, direct results from practice yet we trust that positive change will occur (because we've seen it again and again!).

• Trust in this moment. There's no other place to be. When we're present, we're alive and connected.

This morning, we'll explore trust in movement and in stillness.

august 30, 2024

In May, we explored the Brahmaviharas, or Divine Abodes: metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy), and upekkha (equanimity).

Today, we return to mudita. Why? Because it's hard and we don't actively practice it, yet mudita frees us.

There are many blockages to sympathetic joy: judgment, comparison, prejudice, demeaning, envy, and selfishness.

Yet it's important to remember: If it's in the way, it is the way. These blockages are transformed by the practice of sympathetic joy. When we cultivate mudita, we spend less time in the unwholesome mind-states listed above.

I've been working with mudita all summer. Here's something I notice: The resentments and blockages to mudita are pointers to where we're restricting ourselves. 

For example, if I demean someone who gets happiness from a nap or a day of relaxing, maybe I'm pushing myself too hard (give myself a nap!). Or if I envy someone else's joy and happiness, maybe I'm ignoring the delights in my own life.

If we accept ourselves as we are, we're better able to accept others as they are. If we delight in our own lives, we're better able to delight in the lives of others.

This morning, we'll explore mudita in a variety of ways throughout the meditation.

august 23, 2024

We're continuing with Jon Kabat-Zinn's attitudinal foundations of mindfulness. Today we explore the beginner's mind.

From Kabat-Zinn:

The richness of present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we 'know' prevent us from seeing things as they really are. We tend to take the ordinary for granted and fail to grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary. To see the richness of the present moment, we need to cultivate what has been called 'beginner's mind,' a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.

We practice beginner's mind in meditation. What is breath? Do I think I "know" the breath? Is there something new?

We practice beginner's mind when we walk in nature. How amazing is all this stuff! Look at the beauty. How do these things grow?

We practice beginner's mind in our relationships. Notice when you use the words "always" and "never" to describe someone's behavior. Let go of "knowing" and open to the person in front of you. Who is this person today? Give them space to change.

We practice beginner's mind in conversations. We "know" far less than we think we do. It feels better to be open and curious. What's here for you to learn?

We practice beginner's mind in our Qigong. You've done tree in spring and tree in autumn hundreds of times, yet can you notice something new today?

august 16, 2024

We're exploring Jon Kabat-Zinn's 7 attitudinal foundations of mindfulness practice. This week, we look at patience.

From Kabat-Zinn:

Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.

Patience has so many layers.

We can make an effort and strive for change, yet we must be patient with the timeline.

Patience shows up in all our relationships. When do you lose your patience? What practices extend your patience?

In meditation, you might find yourself leaning forward (a feeling of "what's next?"). Each of those moments is a place to practice patience.

Impatience is tight. Patience is open.

This morning, we'll begin with walking meditation. (We often rush when we walk. Slowing the pace is a form of patience.) Then we'll settle into seated meditation. Nowhere to get to, not in a rush.

august 9, 2024

Jon Kabat-Zinn is creator of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program. This 8-week program has been a model for secular mindfulness and its positive impacts have been studied for decades.

Kabat-Zinn names 7 attitudes which are the foundation for mindfulness: non-judging, patience, beginner's mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go.

Each of these attitudes is worthy of exploration.

In the Zoom room, I'll read from Kabat-Zinn's book, "Full Catastrophe Living," where he describes the 7 attitudes. This week, we start with non-judgment.

It's hard to witness the thousands of judgments in our minds. We don’t like our judgments. And by not liking them, we feed them.

An important piece of working with judgments is seeing them as nature. They’re normal. They happen to everyone.

Consider the most spiritually enlightened person you know. For example, the Dalai Lama, Jesus Christ, the Pope, Mother Teresa, or another teacher you respect. Each of these people have/had hundreds of judgments arise each day.

No one is immune. Judgments are nature, like leaves blowing in the air or clouds moving through the sky.

What matters most is how we work with the judgments. Do we let them rule our lives? Or do we notice them, learn from them, and let them pass? The latter is a life-long practice in freedom.

We'll explore judgments and letting go throughout this morning's meditation.

august 2, 2024

I recently heard the story of Chiyono, a servant in a 13th-century Zen convent. She was of humble birth yet wholeheartedly practiced meditation and believed she could awaken.

One night, on a full moon, she went to draw water from the well. Her old bucket (patched together with bamboo straps) gave way and the water dumped out. As the water disappeared, so did the reflection of the moon.

She wrote a poem about this enlightenment moment:

With this and that I tried to keep the bucket together,

and then the bottom fell out.

Where water does not collect,

the moon does not dwell.

There's much to ponder here!

How often do we try "this and that" to keep everything together? Clinging to identities and opinions and expectations and a need to be in control.

Yet when the bottom falls out, we're forced to let go. It might be embarrassing or difficult, yet there's a deep freedom in letting go.

This morning, we'll explore the ways we're trying to "keep everything together." And we'll explore letting go (bit by bit).

july 26, 2024

Last week, we explored the joys and sorrows of life—making room for all of it in our hearts.

This week, we've seen lots of politics in the news—the ups and downs of which we'll experience regularly through November.

It seems like a good time to revisit the Mountain Meditation. Whatever is swirling around us (or within us), there's a steady place inside. It's not in our thinking minds (remember: they make us feel homeless and edgy). 

The steadiness is in our presence; in our awareness; in our wise mind.

This morning, we'll begin with walking meditation (walking mountain) and shift into seated mountain meditation. We'll find the calm within us, even for just one breath.

july 19, 2024

This week, a close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and another close friend discovered she was pregnant after many ups and downs. Birth and death. Joy and sorrow.

This is how life goes. The longer we live, the more we witness suffering—ours and others. Yet along the way, there are thousands of moments of love, connection, and ease.

Our meditation practice helps us stay open and present to all of this. When we close our heart to the pain, we equally close it to the joy. It's courageous to keep our hearts open in this complex world.

This morning, we'll practice being with it all!

july 12, 2024

I read Atul Gawande's book, Being Mortal, eight years ago. It impacted how I think about death, life, and aging. Recently, I listened to an (old) interview with Gawande. I've been thinking about his work and how it relates to life.

Gawande: "What I slowly realized was that it wasn’t about having a good death. We were not really talking about death or dying. We were really talking about: How do you live a good life all the way to the very end, with whatever comes?"

More specifically, he poses the question: What does a good day look like?

In the Zoom room, I'll speak more about his research and read a few quotes from the book. Just as medical professionals try to fix people, we try to fix our lives. We fix and manage and control, all of which take us away from fully living.

This topic is about more fully living our lives, which might mean backing away from "treatment" (e.g., achievement, busyness, micro-managing).

It's a broad exploration that we'll bring into our meditation this morning.

july 5, 2024

For most of us, we lean into the next moment rather than being present. We have a strong habit that moves us into the future, not resting in peace and ease. 

Yet with all habits, we can retrain our minds. 

You can notice the tendency while you meditate. Are you relaxed? Can you allow for your experience just as it is? If you're leaning forward, can you back away? What happens?

We need the experience of actually relaxing into the moment to know this is possible. And once it's possible, we can return again and again to that place inside us.

june 28, 2024

Summer is an abundant season. Trees, plants, and flowers thrive. Daylight is long. Schedules are full with events, travel, and connections. 

Sometimes it can feel like too much. You're doing awesome things yet not fully present for any of them. 

Heading into July 4th week, it's a great time to pause and reflect; to let yourself savor.

This morning, we'll settle our minds and bodies, and let our hearts rest in all the good things in our lives. There's nothing to do or achieve or become. We're already all we need. Our lives are already what we need.

june 21, 2024

I spent the last three days in Iowa with my dad, as he continues his recovery from knee-replacement surgery. (He's two weeks out.)

As many of you know, it's a hard recovery! Yet I noticed my dad placing judgment and resistance on top of the pain. Self-compassion would have been more helpful and productive.

I also noticed myself as a caregiver losing my patience and then judging myself for that. In those moments, I tried to practice self-compassion (e.g., simply putting my hand on my heart).

We all experience being a patient and a caregiver at times. Self-compassion is vital. It's vital even when life is great, because we make mistakes and process difficult emotions.

Here's what the research tells us:

People who practice self-compassion...

• are more resilient

• are more productive

• are happier

• have a growth mindset

• feel more outward compassion

This is not touchy-feely, woowoo stuff. This is science-based research. We're wise to listen.

And we must practice! Our often long-held habit is to be critical of ourselves. It takes time to create change, but it's possible.

Self-compassion involves (1) mindfulness--awareness that we're in a difficult place, (2) remembering our common humanity--everyone experiences this, and (3) kindness--caring touch or supportive phrases that we say inward.

This morning, we'll explore self-compassion. You'll start or continue your journey of internal kindness/support. Show up just as you are!

june 14, 2024

Two psychologists, Norman Farb and Zindel Siegal, recently coined the term "sense foraging." Actively directing attention to your senses. This is what we do regularly during meditation--coming home to our breath and body sensations.

Yet I like the idea of sense foraging. It sounds more wonder-filled and exploratory.

When we engage the senses, we quiet our thoughts. The senses are dynamic and changing, while our thoughts can feel stagnant.

Our senses keep us present. And they invite curiosity.

This morning, we'll forage our senses in meditation. Join me for the adventure!

june 7, 2024

We've been exploring the Brahmaviharas: Loving-Kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity. These are places our mind-heart can rest. Yet they require practice!

This week, we wrap up with equanimity.

From Sharon Salzberg:

Equanimity is taught as the final meditation among the brahma-viharas because it provides the balance for loving-kindness, compassion, and sympathetic joy. These others open one's heart in a wish for wellbeing. Equanimity balances those heartfelt wishes with the recognition that things are the way they are. However much we may wish for something, most results are beyond our control.

A balanced mind-heart. We care about ourselves, others, and the world, yet we recognize we can't control the uncontrollable. There's relief in letting go!

Letting go happens not in our minds but in our present-moment awareness; in our bigger wisdom.

Equanimity isn't indifference or numbness. We fully acknowledge the joy and sorrow of the world yet we don't get caught in them. We let them flow.

This morning, we'll explore equanimity standing, walking, and seated. We'll settle into supportive phrases...

• May I accept things as they are.

• May I be undisturbed by the comings and goings of events.

• I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

• I wish you happiness but cannot make your choices for you.

May 31, 2024

We're on the third of the Brahmaviharas: Sympathetic Joy. The pali word is mudita. It doesn't have a clean translation into English.

Mudita is happiness at other people's happiness. Joy for other people's joy.

Many things get in the way of mudita: judgment, jealousy, comparisons, resentment, etc.

Yet these mind-heart states constrict us. (In the Zoom room, I'll read some great quotes from Sharon Salzberg on the topic.)

It feels more free, good, and alive to be happy for others. We're happier! Even if it doesn't feel like it will work out that way.

This morning, we'll explore happiness for others. We'll open our hearts. There's so much happiness to go around!

may 24, 2024

We continue our exploration of the Brahmaviharas or Divine Abodes. This week, we explore compassion.

Compassion is the quivering of our heart in response to someone's suffering. We want to alleviate the suffering. Yet we're not in control of the world. There are limitations to what we can do.

Sharon Salzberg writes:

Even very simple actions can make a big difference. We may not be able to take away the mass of somebody's suffering, but we can be present for them. Even if through our small act of being present, somebody does not feel as alone in their suffering as they once did, this will be a very great offering.

To be present with suffering, we must apply self-compassion. The compassion we feel for others must first extend inward. This gives us the resources to sit with someone in pain.

Through compassion we can care without being overwhelmed. We let go of trying to fix things and open up to loving someone with presence.

This morning, we'll explore self-compassion and compassion through movement, phrases, and breath.

I care about your struggles yet cannot take them away from you.

I wish you happiness and peace yet cannot make your choices for you.

May I remain peaceful and let go of expectations.

May I see my limits compassionately just as I view the limitations of others.

may 17, 2024

The Brahmaviharas are an important teaching within Buddhism. They consist of four immeasurable mind-heart states: loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity.

One English translation of these states is "the divine abodes." That is, we can rest and live in these qualities. They create a home that is rich, safe, and abundant.

We'll focus on these qualities over the next four weeks. (They ebb and flow beautifully together!)

This morning, we'll practice loving-kindness. Rather than a conditioned love--"I'll love you if you do this, this, and this"--the practice provides an unconditional wish that people be safe, happy, and at ease. 

At its core, loving-kindness is a realization that we all want to be happy. Some of us might not (yet) have skillful means to be happy, but we all want to be happy. We want to be free from suffering.

Knowing this, we can wish ourselves, loved ones, strangers, difficult people, and the world well. We can't control what happens, but we can fill our hearts with wholesome wishes. This softens us as we interact with the world.

Show up just as you are this morning! Meet yourself with basic kindness and care.

may 10, 2024

John Welwood (clinical psychologist) wisely wrote:

Most people in our society share a peculiar belief: We imagine that we should be able to establish a rich and satisfying relationship with someone we love, even if we have never learned to relate to ourselves in a rich, satisfying way. We believe that a successful relationship mostly depends on finding the right person and feeling or doing the right things. We often don’t see that how we relate to another inevitably follows from how we relate to ourselves, that our outer relationships are but an extension of our inner life, that we can only be as open and present with another as we are with ourselves.

Meditation helps us relate to ourselves in a more rich, satisfying way. 

And a big part of this relationship is inhabiting our bodies; trusting our bodies; listening to our bodies. When we're solely in our thoughts, the relationship isn't as rich. 

This morning, we'll explore movement (walking meditation to start), breathwork, and phrases to bring ourselves fully into these (beautiful!) bodies. Then we'll settle into meditation as a rich, satisfying way to relate to ourselves.

May 3, 2024

There's a well-regarded therapy framework called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Richard Schwartz began as a family therapist 30 years ago and quickly saw these family dynamics within his individual patients. He then developed and studied the IFS framework, which has helped millions of people.

This therapy model is closely related to the work we do in meditation.

We all have different "parts" (think of the many voices you hear in your head!). The most common parts are

• Managers (e.g., inner critic): Managers are trying to keep you safe and functional; they're trying to control; they truly feel they're protecting you. (Managers feel most like our true Self but they're not!)

• Exiles: Parts that are hurt, frightened, or shamed (often from a very early age); they carry big emotions and traumatic memories; the managers lock these exiles away.

• Firefighters: These parts jump into action whenever one of the exiles is upset to the point that it might flood you with extreme feelings; they try to douse the flames quickly (e.g., drugs, food, sex, work, distraction).

There are no bad parts! The managers and firefighters are (truly!) trying to keep you safe and protected. The exiles have been imprisoned and want to experience more play and creativity.

It's helpful to see all these parts with compassion, which is what we do in meditation each week!

When we're not caught in our parts, we inhabit our Self (IFS language). You can think of this as the wise, kind self of awareness and mindfulness.

In the IFS model, these are the qualities of Self:

Calmness, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness.

We know we're inhabiting Self when these qualities are present. Note: These are natural qualities of awareness! Hence, the deep connection between IFS and mindfulness.

I know this is a lot of information! Take what is helpful and leave the rest.

This morning, we'll explore (briefly) our parts and then we'll rest in the natural qualities (the 8 Cs) of awareness.

april 26, 2024

The earth is on my mind. 

Monday was Earth Day. An important celebration of this beautiful planet, which supports us in copious ways. Just like our own bodies, we can take the earth for granted. This week, we're remembering, savoring, and celebrating the earth.

While on Inis Oirr, one of the Aran Islands off the coast of Ireland, we had a walking tour with a colorful local man who told rich stories about the land. Ultimately, he said, the Irish are pagan, as they'd do anything for the earth. It was a poignant moment.

It's important to remember that we have earthliness inside us. We're connected to the earth; we are the earth. This naturally creates gratitude and compassion.

This morning, I'll guide a meditation that honors the earth inside us and around us. As part of this process, I'll read the poem Remember by Joy Harjo.

april 10, 2024

Last Friday, we explored the natural openness and curiosity in our awareness. When we're present and aware, we're naturally open. When we're caught in thoughts and judgments, we're more closed. 

The more we practice openness, the more we return there (even when life is stressful).

Our bodies are a direct link to presence. I love this John O'Donohue quote: "Our bodies know that they belong; it is our minds that make our lives so homeless."

Being present in our bodies--with both the ease and aches--keeps us open and aware. We often rearrange externals to create calm yet we can find calm in ourselves (and our bodies) anytime.

This morning, we'll open to the calm awareness that naturally exists in our bodies.

PS: We'll start with some qigong and walking meditation.

april 5, 2024

Mindfulness instructions often tell us to view life with no judgments. Yet this is hard to do! Rather than framing things by what we don't want (judgment), it's more helpful to practice what we do want (openness and curiosity). 

Interestingly, awareness itself has a natural open quality. When we're present and aware, space opens (inside us and around us). It's our thoughts that impose judgments. Each time we return to our breath, we feel openness. And it feels good. 

The more we can bring openness and curiosity to meditation and life, the happier and more connected we are.

An easy way to experiment with curiosity is to listen to sounds. We like some sounds. We dislike other sounds. For the sounds we dislike, can we listen with openness? When a sound is just a sound (not all our judgments) it loses its bite.

Likewise, we can get curious about pain in our body. If we let go of thoughts (I hate this pain!), we open to sensation: pulsing, tingling, sharp, dull, warm, cool. Again, our awareness is naturally curious.

This morning, we'll cultivate curiosity and openness throughout our meditation. Of course, we'll forget (and think and judge), and we'll return to open awareness again and again.

march 29, 2024

Intellectually, we know that our mind calms when we let go. Experientially, we know that letting go feels good. Yet we still hold on.

We hold onto identities, opinions, and resentments. We hold onto the need to be right. We hold onto our suffering.

These habits are painful yet they're known feelings. We're used to them. 

Letting go is less known. There's uncertainty. Yet this is where we find freedom and ease.

Interestingly, if we strive to let go, the striving process makes us hold on.

This morning, we'll explore letting go in an easy, curious way. Letting go in our bodies. Letting go in our minds. Letting go in our hearts.

PS: I'll read a poem, She Let Go, from Safire Rose.

march 22, 2024

The statistician in me loves that mindfulness, gratitude, awe, and compassion are topics of rigorous research studies. These positive mind-heart states have a big impact on our wellbeing and longevity.

In his book, Awe, Dacher Keltner describes how awe quiets the default mode network in the brain (turns down the "me" volume). In turn, we feel more connected and at ease. Social science and brain science research agree about awe: it's good for us!

Furthermore, Keltner identified 8 universal pathways to awe: moral beauty, collective effervescence, nature, music, visual design, spiritual and religious experiences, birth and death, and epiphanies.

While awe occurs at grand vistas and big moments, it also occurs in everyday ways.

This morning, we'll reflect on awe experiences--letting them fill our whole being. And we'll set an intention of looking for awe in daily life.

PS: I'll invite you to begin with standing and walking meditation.

march 15, 2024

I've spoken with folks recently about meaning and purpose. People with abundant, full lives still feeling meh. This is normal. Our lives have cycles.

Still, it's important to reconnect with purpose (again and again). Purpose is strongly associated with longevity and well-being.

Remembering (and living from) our core values is a pathway to meaning. Yet if we have lots of core values, it's the same as having none--we're scattered and unfocused. 

This morning, you'll tune into 1 or 2 core values, experiencing these in your mind, heart, and body. Besides breathing the core values, you'll set an intention of living from these north stars.

We'll begin the session with the new(ish) morning qigong sequence.

march 8, 2024

I just finished a series of lunch-n-learns for the Kimberly School District. I went to each school, talking with teachers about compassion fatigue and mindfulness.

Compassion fatigue is the physical, emotional, and psychological toll on those caring for others through experiences of stress or trauma. It's often called the cost of caring.

Yet researchers have recently pointed out that compassion is boundless; it doesn't fatigue. A better description is empathic distress. Strong empathy yet no place for it to go. There's a stuck and overwhelming feeling.

We all understand this experience. Whether you're in a serving profession or you're taking care of family or you're reading the world news, there's some empathic distress.

We need to transform and metabolize this distress. Move it through.

Compassion meditation helps with that process. We recognize our limitations and what's in our realm of influence. We offer care and compassion while knowing we can't control externals.

This morning we'll move and meditate with compassion.

march 1, 2024

Many of us have a regular gratitude practice. 

Underneath this practice is appreciation. Appreciation is active and embodied. Without appreciation, gratitude feels forced.

Yet the busyness of life as well as the routine of life can dampen appreciation. 

This morning, we'll cultivate appreciation. Appreciation of our bodies, the people we love, strangers, and the natural world.

Appreciation requires a pause. It's challenging to do when in a rush.

We'll settle into a long meditation pause and allow appreciation to naturally arise.

february 23, 2024

At Oshkosh Correctional on Monday, folks shared their current meditation practice and how it's been helpful. Two people shared a tonglen practice, even though they'd never heard of tonglen--it just seemed like a helpful thing to do.

Breathing in difficulty, breathing out ease. Breathing in pain, breathing out love.

We're used to breathing out the hard stuff. (Take a deep breath and let go.) While this is a helpful practice, it's equally helpful to breathe in the hard stuff and trust we can recycle it into what's good.

It retrains our habit of pushing away what's painful. Instead, we embrace what's painful and give away what's loving.

Tonglen is a practice to revisit again and again. It can work for specific issues in our lives and it applies to big issues in the world.

This morning, we'll explore a full range of tonglen.

february 16, 2024

Peg shared with me a beautiful opinion piece in the New York Times: Train Yourself to Always Show Up. It's a worthwhile read when you have time. For now, I'll summarize the gist, as we bring it into meditation this morning...

In the third century CE, it was a Jewish ritual to pilgrimage to the Second Temple in Jerusalem. Once at the temple, most folks entered on the right and walked around counter-clockwise. Some folks--those who recently experienced loss, heartache, pain, ostracization--entered on the left and walked clockwise.

When their paths crossed, the people who entered from the right stopped and asked, "What happened to you? Why does your heart hurt?" The other person had space to share their story.

They got to tell their story again and again, and it was met with "You are not alone. May you find comfort."

What a supportive community practice!

Some years go smoothly (you enter on the right). Other years are a shit-storm (you enter on the left). Either way, you are accepted and loved.

Our meditation practice trains us to be present. In the words of Rabbi Sharon Brous, "Reach out in your strength, step forward in your vulnerability. Err on the side of presence."

This morning, we'll be present to the joys and sorrows in our lives. Bearing witness to our own internal experience while bearing witness to each other.

And we'll begin with walking meditation, as we take a pilgrimage together.

february 9,2024

When I read anything about the Israel-Hamas war, my heart breaks. It seems to be an intractable situation. The violence will only continue.

This brings me to the topic of forgiveness. It's a topic to visit and revisit. If we explore forgiveness as a life practice, we won't find ourselves in intractable situations. And this softens, widens, and opens our hearts. It brings us well-being.

Forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for us. 

When I bring up this topic in prison, the guys say, "I've forgiven everyone in my life, but I can't forgive myself." I think we can all relate.

Yet forgiving ourselves--for minor and major infractions--is the only pathway forward. Otherwise, we stay stuck. (In an intractable relationship with ourselves.)

This morning, we'll explore forgiveness (or acceptance or whichever word feels most resonant for you). Forgiveness of others, forgiveness of ourselves.

Show up just as you are!

february 2, 2024

One of the best things about our Florida trip is seeing the color green. Green leaves, green grass, green plants. In Wisconsin, we lose the color green in November and it doesn't return until mid-April. That's a long time!

It's important to remember green exists even in dormancy. There's green inside you. There's green waiting to happen under the frozen ground.

This green theme calls me to a tree meditation. Trees, even in Wisconsin, have green within them. Their roots are deep and wide. As a tree, we stand alone (we can do this!) and we stand together (interconnected roots). 

At my recent meditation retreat, I learned a new morning Qigong sequence. We'll begin meditation with these Qigong movements. Waking up our bodies and connecting to nature.

Then we'll sit in meditation like trees in a beautiful forest.

january 26, 2024

During my recent meditation retreat, I met an old storyline in my head: I'm not good enough. I've worked with this unkind, untrue thought for decades. I recognize it sooner and make changes. This time, it snuck through the back door. And luckily the retreat space illuminated it.

As I sat in meditation, looking for goodness inside me, I realized that I was unconsciously making "me" a big deal. Instead of looking for goodness in ME, I chose to widen the lens. There's goodness in everyone. There's goodness in the world. Goodness exists and I can trust in that.

This shift in perspective filled me with ease. When we ask the question (again and again), "Am I a good person?" we turn up the dial on the ME channel. Instead, we can trust in this phrase: there's goodness here. Goodness inside you. Goodness around you. It's a place where we can rest.

This morning, we'll explore this idea through mindful movement and meditation.

january 19, 2024

The Buddha spoke about the "Eight Worldly Winds": praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, success and failure.

He said, "They ceaselessly change. As a mountain unshaken by the wind, so the heart of a wise person is steady amidst all the changes on this earth."

We think praise, gain, pleasure, and success are good. We crave them! 

We think blame, loss, pain, and failure are bad—like we've done something wrong or the world's gone wrong.

Yet none of these is good or bad. They're just nature. Nature doesn't judge or anoint. Nature is. These worldly winds are. They happen.

Our meditation practice helps us cultivate equanimity, so we can be the mountain amid the storm. Even if we can be the littlest bit of a mountain, that's great!

This morning, we'll explore these worldly winds and let them flow through us.

january 10, 2024

Hundreds of things clamor for our attention each day. People, advertisements, notifications, videos, to-do lists, email, texts, news, and the list goes on.

Our attention is a precious resource (it's limited). We often give away that precious resource to things that aren't important or helpful.

It's empowering to train our attention; to choose who and what receives that attention.

A focused mind is more at ease. Plus, we're able to redirect negative thoughts and cultivate positive mind-states. All from the (simple yet not easy) exercise of noticing distraction and redirecting attention.

This morning's meditation gives you active practice with training (and retraining) your attention.

january 5, 2024

Our world is filled with war and hate and pain. We can't control life circumstances (or world circumstances) but we can make space in our own hearts for love and acceptance. This is the natural state of our hearts. We just need to remember to remember.

Loving-kindness practice helps both with concentration and with cultivating warmth. It's a meditation I bring in regularly.

This morning, we'll do the full tour! Ourselves, loved ones, strangers, difficult people, all beings.

Even if it feels heady or forced, this practice softens your heart; it makes a positive difference.

december 29, 2023

2024 is almost here. Before springing into the new calendar, it's helpful to reflect: What was hard? What was good?

It's also helpful to accept ourselves right where we are before making plans for changes/resolutions/intentions.

In the new year, we receive loads of messages around more, better, fitter, etc. Yet it's more important to listen inward. What do you feel? What do you need? Often, we don't know what we need, so we look outside ourselves.

This morning, we'll look inside ourselves. Meeting whatever is there with kindness and care.

december 22, 2023

Holidays can be complex. Lots of emotions! Joy, love, and ease. Grief, loneliness, and stress. It's important to remember that all these emotions belong. We may have moments of connection and other moments of frustration. Likewise, the people we're with may experience different feelings. It's okay to not be okay and it's okay to be happy.

Holidays can also flow on autopilot. It's a great time to pause, remember what's most important, and set an intention for how we want to show up. When we're in touch with our core values, we're not as bothered by things not going as planned or people pushing our buttons or food burning in the oven.

This morning, we'll settle, feel (it all belongs!), and set intentions for the holiday weekend.

december 8, 2023

There's a lot of hustle and bustle with the holidays. It's nice to have place where we can rest and relax.

In general, our culture elevates doing and achieving but it's important to pair this with deep rest. When we rest, our doings are more skillful and kind.

Our minds need a break from thinking. Our hearts need a break from feeling. Our bodies need a break from moving.

This morning, we'll do a progressive muscle relaxation that leads into a restful meditation. Feel free to lie down for this practice!

december 1, 2023

There are storms swirling around us. Wars, politics, meanness. Busyness, consumerism, noise.

We can't control externals, but we can cultivate calm within us. We're like a mountain. Strong, steady, peaceful, and wise. Storms rage around us, yet there's a place of peace within.

Storms equally appear inside us (racing thoughts, big emotions) and yet there's a calm at our core.

We are wise, kind mountains. We just need to remember to remember!

This morning, we'll explore our mountainness in meditation.

november 22, 2023

Whether you're getting together with people at Thanksgiving or you're spending it quietly by yourself, it's helpful to remember what matters most. 

So often, we fling ourselves into holidays on autopilot. We don't realize the unrealistic expectations we hold or the tenderness in our own heart or what our needs are.

If we reconnect with our deepest intentions, we feel better. And we interact with the world in a more kind and patient way.

This morning, we'll settle our minds, open our hearts, and soften our bodies, so we experience the abundance that life offers.

November 17, 2023

On Monday, I had pastoral visits at Oshkosh Correctional. One of the prisoners was having a tough time. Within two days, he found out his brother died and his best friend died, both were shot to death. The news was so difficult that he found himself falling into old, destructive behaviours. He said to me, "Why is it so hard to be good and it's so easy to be bad?"

I don't think it's easy to be bad, but it's definitely true that old habits are hard to break. We're used to these habits. Even if they no longer serve us (perhaps even harm us), they feel comfortable. Going into uncertainty (creating new habits) is, indeed, hard.

It's helpful to reconnect with the goodness inside us (yes, it's inside us all!). When we're in touch with our deeper intentions, it's easier to make good choices.

This morning, we'll remember our inherent goodness and lovability. And from this place, we can make the changes we seek.

november 10, 2023

In my mindfulness classes this week, we focused on self-compassion. 

Kristin Neff is the leading researcher on self-compassion. Her research shows that people who practice self-compassion are more resilient, productive, and happy. An inner coach/friend is far more helpful than an inner critic.

The components of self-compassion: 1) mindfulness--notice when you're in pain; bring awareness to what's difficult; 2) common humanity--remember you're part of a bigger community; millions of people feel what you feel; and 3) kindness--put your hand on your heart and say a supportive phrase inward; choose to do something nourishing for yourself.

Today, I want to focus on the common humanity piece. Our pain is held in a much larger container. Equally, our joy is shared in that same big container. We don't need to resist our pain or hold in our joy. We can let them out! And allow ourselves to be held in the process.

We'll explore this bigger container in our morning meditation. This includes standing and walking meditation at the beginning.

november 3, 2023

I recently listened to an On Being interview with Trabian Shorters, who developed the idea of asset framing, which first defines people by their aspirations and contributions. This process doesn't ignore struggles and deficits, but it leads with what's good in us all.

On Monday, I brought this idea to the prison mindfulness group. We went around the circle sharing aspirations and contributions. It was honest, beautiful, and uplifting.

It's powerful to connect with our aspirations and contributions. We remember what's good and beautiful inside us. This helps us remember the good inside everyone. What if we viewed our family and friends and neighbors and strangers from the lens of their aspirations and what they contribute? It opens our mind and softens our heart.

This morning, we'll connect with aspiration and bring this into our meditation.

october 27, 2023

The Russia-Ukraine war wages on. After 1.5+ years, we start to be inured to the updates.

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict shifted to active war a few weeks ago. We read accounts and see photographs of destruction and death.

On Wednesday night, a mass killing happened in Maine. There have been hundreds of mass shootings in the US this year.

Violence, whether in sanctioned war or in criminal action, harms our psyches. We read about it yet there's nothing actionable we can do with the information.  This weighs on our minds, hearts, and bodies.

Loving-kindness and compassion meditation help us move the stuck energy. We can't control external circumstances but we can open our hearts and offer well-wishes. Furthermore, we can ground these well-wishes in reality. 

It can feel disingenuous to wish for people to be safe while they're being bombed. Yet we can wish for moments of safety. Or safety within themselves. Or safe-enough conditions to rest.

This morning, we'll widen the circles of love and compassion.

May you have safe-enough conditions to rest for a moment.

May you remember the love that surrounds you.

May you trust in your human dignity and goodness.

october 20, 2023

When we experience difficult emotions, it's natural to push them away, yet they keep coming back. What's more helpful (and less exhausting) is to allow for hard emotions. We don't have to love them but we can stop hating them. What a relief!

There's an acronym for working with tough emotions (in meditation and in life):

R: Recognize--bring awareness to what's happening

A: Allow--let go of resistance and make room in your mind-heart

I: Investigate--get curious about body sensations, thoughts (are they true?), and underlying feelings

N: Non-identify and/or Nurture--remember you're not defined by this emotion and give yourself support and kindness

It's counter-intuitive to welcome these difficult feelings yet it heals us. 

This morning, we'll explore RAIN practice, and then settle into meditation where we continually practice awareness and acceptance. 

october 13, 2023

Last week, we intentionally brought grief (and love!) into our meditation. Autumn is a natural time for letting go.

Autumn also activates anxiety, which appears during transitions and in preparation for winter.

We can get lost in our head (e.g., worry, plans, thinking). As an antidote, we move our energy back into our bodies and soothe our system.

This morning, we'll use soothing touch, rocking/swaying, humming, and more to settle our mind-heart-body.

october 6, 2023

There's a bittersweet feeling in autumn. Leaves are colorful yet they quickly fall to the ground. Cool temperatures are welcome yet they quickly shift into bundle-up! weather. 

In traditional Chinese medicine, the emotion associated with fall is grief. There's a sadness and letting go (even amid the beauty).

It's important for us to honor the losses in our lives. Not just the deaths but also the loss of summer or a relationship or an ability or an identity. We often cover over these smaller griefs yet they impact us and long to be felt.

Underneath both big and small grief is love. Love of the people in our lives. Love of life itself.

This morning, we'll allow space for grief and sadness. And we'll create even more space for love, love, love.

As part of this process, I'll read a poem from Kate Bowler: A blessing for your great, big, dumb heart 

september 29, 2023

In a 1:1 visit at Oshkosh on Monday, an inmate shared this insight:

"I understand why people are so angry. It's because they don't feel loved. I've been angry for 10 years. Yet I just had a conversation with my mom and she wants to move to be with me when I'm released in February. It's the first time in 10 years that I felt loved and accepted. And in the presence of that, I'm less angry."

We all want to be loved! And we all face struggles.

Loving-kindness/compassion practice allows us to move our stuck energy and transform it into good. When our hearts open, we interact with more presence, patience, and love.

This morning, we'll open, soften, and widen our hearts in a loving-kindness practice.

september 22, 2023

The fall equinox is tomorrow at 1:50a. We experience equal parts day and night. And then (of course!) things change.

Balance is not a fixed point but a flowing process. So much of our meditation (and life!) practice is about balance: effort and ease, wakefulness and relaxation, inhalation and exhalation, giving and receiving, opening and closing, love and sadness, light and dark.

To understand ease, we must put in effort. To maintain effort, we must allow for ease. And so it goes for all the pairs mentioned above. We need both sides. Balance is a flow from one to the other.

This morning, we'll explore balance in various ways throughout the meditation.

september 15, 2023

Each change of season reminds me how interconnected we are--with each other and the natural world. 

As light fades and temps drop, I notice a primal feeling of uneasiness. It's not anxiety stemming from my life circumstances. It's a mammalian response to protect and preserve as winter approaches. We are animals! We're not separate from nature, we are nature.

I'm reading "Braiding Sweetgrass," and there's a beautiful drumbeat of reciprocity, gratitude, and interconnection. Again, we aren't separate from the earth; we're part of the earth.

At Oshkosh Correctional on Monday, I led a compassion practice. Afterward, one of the residents spoke about sending compassion to the rabbit he sees out his window. And his realization that the difficult people in his life--just like the bunny and people he loves--deserves compassion. There's no separation; there's connection.

This morning, we'll explore interconnection through movement and stillness; on our own and together.

september 8, 2023

We recently moved through eight pillars of joy: perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.

All these pillars have something in common: opening/space/release.

We feel better when there's more space in our mind, heart, and body. As natural protection, we have habits of tensing and closing, yet these don't feel good. Often, we don't even notice it's happening.

This morning, we'll notice tension in our bodies and invite release. We'll notice tension in our minds and invite space. We'll notice closing in our heart and invite opening.

Even the smallest amount of opening makes a positive difference.

september 1, 2023

I recently read the poem "Priority List" by Laura Martin. It speaks to the importance of small moments of presence. These are the foundation of our lives. (I'll read the poem in the Zoom room.)

On Monday, I had 1:1 visits at Oshkosh Correctional. One of the inmates shared an amazing story of ordinary kindness. His acts of kindness began a relationship with a white supremicist. This man then began to change his views about black people. 

I'll expand on this story in detail in the Zoom room. For now, know that ordinary acts of kindness make a difference. As do moments of presence. 

To modify a quote from Annie Dillard: How we spend our moments is how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. These moments matter.

We'll explore the ordinary moments in our meditation this morning. 

august 25, 2023

We've been exploring the 8 pillars of joy from "The Book of Joy." Each pillar is a mind- or heart-state we can cultivate. All of these pillars invite an opening: perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, and generosity.

This morning, we'll focus on generosity. (I'll share a story in the Zoom room about a recent experience.)

Generosity is an opening of our hands (giving away), as well as an opening of our hearts and minds. There are many ways to be generous!

For example, it's generous to...

• Let go of being right (would you rather be right or be happy?)

• Deviate from your plans and go another direction

• Give someone the benefit of the doubt

• Listen without trying to fix or advise or control—just listen

• Receive from someone (allow them to be generous!)

In our meditation, we'll explore movement, breath, and awareness that opens us to generosity.

august 18, 2023

There's so much (beyond our thoughts!) that we use to interpret the world. Our senses give us conscious and unconscious messages. Right now, the light is changing. There's a coolness to the morning air that feels different from standard summer days. The wind is picking up. Flowers are fading.

All of these are early signs of fall. We get a feeling inside of transition, which is our senses picking up on environmental cues. Even with warm temperatures next week, there's a sense of transition to autumn. (At least for us folks in Wisconsin.)

It's helpful to bring consciousness to our senses. Notice what we see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. Each of these is a mindfulness doorway.

In our meditation this morning, we'll explore the senses and calm our minds.

august 11, 2023

Our human brains are amazing. Yet our thoughts can be limiting. Our thoughts can't understand all that the body does. Our thoughts can't explain the deeper awareness within us.

Letting go of the thoughts (even for a few breaths) lets us glimpse a bigger inner-world.

This morning's meditation builds. Each piece widens and deepens our awareness.

We'll begin standing. Once we sit, we'll focus on the breath. From the breath, we'll widen to body sensations. Lastly, we'll rest in compassion phrases.

Nothing to do; nothing to achieve. Just show up!

august 4, 2023

This morning, we explore the 7th pillar of joy: compassion. 

All these mind- and heart-states are about opening. It's a natural human habit to close and protect yet it doesn't feel good. The pillars of joy remind us to open, ease, and let go.

Empathy lets us feel what others feel. Compassion is more active: it moves us to alleviate the suffering of others (and ourselves). Still, help can morph into controlling and managing. Compassion has an open quality: alleviate suffering but with no agenda. 

The active quality of compassion helps us move through emotions rather than carrying the burden of other people's pain.

Self-compassion is an important part of this practice! Treating ourselves with compassion makes space for us to help others with a more open heart. 

This morning, we'll explore compassion practice through visualization and phrases. Show up just as you are!

july 28, 2023

Embodiment is a vital part of meditation. We move (again and again) from lost-in-thoughts to feeling the sensations of breath and body.

Yet there's even more to embodiment. Our bodies are wise! Not only do these bodies perform countless actions for us that we don't even realize, they also provide information about our well-being at a deep level. Our bodies hold our emotions, our wounds, and our healing.

This morning, we'll listen to our bodies; we'll be kind to our bodies; we'll remember the bigger awareness that they hold.

july 21, 2023

We continue with the pillars of joy. These are mind- and heart-states which we can cultivate. 

Today, we'll practice with gratitude. Gratitude is about abundance while marketing messages are often about scarcity. We're surrounded by cultural ideas that there's not enough to go around yet there is enough. There's enough for everyone.

Sometimes, though, we don't feel grateful. We've all had those days where everything seems to go wrong or periods of life when the bad news keeps coming. In those moments, it's helpful to remember the first pillar of joy: perspective. Look up at the sky, call a friend, listen to an uplifting song, take a long shower, or walk around the block. A shift of perspective opens us to humility (and humor!) and helps us experience gratefulness.

There is more than enough in our ordinary (messy, busy) lives. Our bodies are amazing (holy wow, what they do for us each day!). Our meditation practice is a blessing (even when we have a busy mind). The natural world is stunning and wondrous (thank you, Mother Earth!). Our circle of friends is real, caring, and supportive (we see this every Friday). This moment, this breath is more than enough.

We'll explore gratefulness together this morning. Show up just as you are! You are enough.

july 14, 2023

Summer is a time of abundance. Plants and flowers explode, and our schedules are often filled with events and connections. This extra energy sometimes leads to a spinning mind. We're thinking and doing rather than being.

At these times, it's helpful to ground ourselves. To remember we're held by the earth. And to remember the earthiness within us.

Right now, there's nothing you need to do; there's nothing you need to become. You can rest.

The other night, I watched Luna as she lay in my lap on our back porch. She was tired but there were so many sights and sounds around her that she stayed alert. Eventually, she gave into sleep and her ears relaxed and her whole face softened. What a relief to let go of being alert! 

Mid-summer, it's helpful to move our energy out of our airy minds and into our earthy bodies. We'll practice grounding together this morning.

july 7, 2023

This morning we'll revisit forgiveness. It's a powerful and non-linear practice. Hence, it's helpful to return to both the idea and the meditation. 

Sometimes, forgiveness can feel heavy. Yet it's ultimately a practice in lightness and letting go. And it's okay to be playful! We don't need to take the topic so seriously.

Mostly, we're trying to open and lighten up our own hearts, so we interact with this world in more wise, kind ways.

Often, forgiving ourselves is the hardest part, which is why I want to revisit this topic. Forgiveness and self-compassion can help us grow and heal.

We'll explore and experience these themes in our morning meditation.

june 30, 2023

In one of my pastoral visits this week, a resident shared how he lost all his friends and family (200+ people) after he was arrested. Loneliness is the biggest, hardest issue in his life. Grieving these losses is an important part of his healing. (And meditation can help with this process.)

We humans are social creatures. It's vital to our well-being that we connect with others.

In one of the longest-running studies on health and longevity, the biggest factor was relationships. The stronger your relationships, the longer you live. Your network needn't be huge but it's best if it's deep. Even 1-2 close friends makes a difference.

When life gets busy, we can lose touch with people. Yet mindfulness can bring us back to them. Reflect on someone you haven't seen for a while--someone whom you enjoy--and make an intentional step toward connection.

In our meditation, we'll reflect on the widening circles of people in our lives (including the meditation circle!). We'll let connection permeate our mind-body-heart.

june 23, 2023

We've been moving through the pillars of joy from "The Book of Joy." These are mind-heart qualities which we can cultivate. And they build on each other!

Perspective helps us shift from me to we (see the bigger view). Once we do that, it's easier to access humility, and humility naturally leads to humor. With all this opening, we're better able to accept things as they are.

And from acceptance, we can move toward forgiveness. Just like acceptance, forgiveness isn't passive; it's an active, courageous state. 

The process of forgiveness takes time and it's not linear (just like grief). We can't think our way into forgiveness. It's something we must feel. Our practice of working with big emotions (via body sensations and awareness) is helpful in forgiveness practice.

This morning, we'll explore forgiveness in our mind, heart, and body.

june 16, 2023

On Monday, I had a powerful 1:1 visit with a resident of Oshkosh Correctional. He recently had a stroke and was near death. Though he recovered, he spent 5 weeks in the hospital. 

The appreciation and gratitude he expressed was inspiring. It reminded me to be grateful for the smallest and most ordinary things. Equally to be grateful for this wondrous and precious life.

In the Zoom room, I'll give more details about his experience. We'll let J. inspire us into a meditation of appreciation for the ordinary and amazing parts of being human (even when life is complex!).

june 9, 2023

We've been moving through the pillars of joy named in "The Book of Joy." It's beautiful how these mind-states build on each other. Perspective leads to humility. Humility is connected to humor. And all three of these qualities help us with acceptance.

Acceptance of how life is at this moment. Acceptance of our internal experience as it is.

We spend a lot of energy resisting, managing, or trying to alter life. It's a relief when we can simply be with what is (even if it's hard). Rather than feeling clinched, there's a little more ease.

Some both/ands...

We can accept ourselves just as we are AND put effort into making changes.

We can accept the unjust circumstances of life (right now) AND work for justice in the long-term.

We can accept our mistakes AND make amends.

Acceptance leads to more skillful, wise action. It brings more ease into daily life. And it's a life-long practice!

We'll explore acceptance in this morning's meditation.

june 2, 2023

The hot weather reminds me of a mindfulness teaching: when you're hot, be hot (don't resist it); when you're cold, be cold (don't resist it). So much resistance happens in our minds.

As John O'Donohue wrote, "Our bodies know they belong; it's our minds that make our lives so homeless."

In meditation, we regularly move from our thoughts back into our body/breath. Yet it's helpful to have an entire meditation based on awareness of the body. It's amazing what we can notice when we pay attention. It's just that our attention is often in the movie of our mind.

This morning, we'll take a tour (from head to toes) of our beautiful, imperfect, alive bodies.

may 26, 2023

We've been exploring joy, which is different from happiness based on externals. Joy is something within us--a sense of ease, contentment, fulfillment. 

Yet difficulty is an important piece of joy.

From the Dalai Lama…

Even a tragic situation can become an opportunity. There's a Tibetan saying that it is actually the painful experiences that shine the light on the nature of happiness. They do this by bringing joyful experiences into sharp relief.

We need sorrow to understand joy. We need fear to understand ease. We need anger to understand love.

I think we all get this intellectually yet it's equally important to understand it in our bodies and hearts. When we soften into the pain, we expand more into joy and love. There's ease in that expansion. All of it belongs!

We'll explore these contours in this morning's meditation.

may 19, 2023

We're cultivating the eight pillars of joy, as described in "The Book of Joy." We moved through perspective and humility. Today, we explore humor.

Humor, humility, and humanity all come from the same latin root, humus, which is the organic component of soil. That is, these qualities "bring us down to earth;" they connect us.

Unkind humor separates but good-hearted humor connects. This is especially helpful if we can laugh at ourselves. Again, not in an unkind way but in a humble way.

We often think humor means jokes but it's much more broad. Our life circumstances are sometimes ridiculous or so frustrating that it's "laughable." In these moments, instead of losing our cool, we can lighten up and share the humor. Making someone laugh (again, in a good-hearted way) removes tension from any situation.

We can apply this in our meditation practice! We don't need to take things so seriously. We can smile and laugh. We can remember the soil (in all its messiness) that connects us.

may 12, 2023

Death is part of life. Grief is part of love. 

We experience grief in varied ways: the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the aftermath of a pandemic, a difficult health diagnosis, the loss of abilities, or the seemingly small disappointments in everyday life.

Because grief is unavoidable, it's important to navigate it with awareness. Instead of distracting or avoiding, we can practice feeling the feels. Then we build trust that these feelings don't overwhelm us. In fact, when we open to grief, we more fully open to love.

If you have an internal response of "oh no! I think I'll skip this meditation," that's a signal you should definitely join. :) We'll explore grief in a kind, accessible way. 

may 5, 2023

In the mindfulness group at Oshkosh Correctional, we're moving through the pillars of joy. These are topics from "The Book of Joy," which captures conversations between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I want to bring y'all the pillars, too!

These themes are rich and meaningful. Two weeks ago, we practiced perspective. In meditation, we shifted from I/me/mine to we/us/ours.

This week, we'll explore humility. Humility, humanity, and humor all have the same latin root--humus. Earthiness! We are soil. We are essential yet we're not a big deal. Our life matters yet we're part of a massive universe. 

Arrogance and shame are two sides of the same coin. Both mind-states make us small--they limit our view. They feel restrictive. Humility is the dropping of both arrogance and shame. It's a middle path of openness and curiosity.

It's a relief to let go of being special or important. We can just be as we are! 

We'll bring humility into our meditation this morning.

april 28, 2023

This week, I've been reflecting on love.

In prison pastoral visits, I regularly hear about childhoods filled with abuse, abandonment, and neglect. No modeling of love. I reflect back to these prisoners that they're worthy of love; that their childhood was not their fault. Often, it's the first time they've heard these words.

When I return home from prison, I'm greeted by our puppy, Luna. She is love. So happy to see me. Excited to play or just cuddle in my lap. That experience is unconditional love.

Some situations are tragic; other situations are joyful.

How do we sit with all of this? Our meditation practice helps. Loving-kindness meditation reminds us that we can love, even when we're not in control of life.

We can wish the prisoners well. We can wish the puppies well. We can wish ourselves well.

This morning, we'll practice loving-kindness in all directions.

april 21, 2023

There's been research showing that the use of we/us/ours pronouns more than I/me/mine pronouns is connected to health benefits. Likely, it's not causal, but the connection is important. Using "we" removes us from our personal dramas--it creates a bigger perspective. And it reminds us of our interconnection. We depend on each other! All of this seems to make us healthier and happier.

Earth Day is tomorrow. A big part of "we" is the earth. We aren't separated from nature, we are nature. Climate change is not someone else's problem to solve, it's our collective issue.

Shifting our perspective to "we" is powerful. Getting out of our own stories is healing. 

This morning, we'll widen our lens to we/us/ours. And in honor of Earth Day, we'll move (tree in spring!) before settling into meditation.

april 14, 2023

Here in Wisconsin, we've had a week of summer-like weather. It's joyful to watch the grass green, the trees bud, and the plants come alive. When the right conditions--rain, sunlight, warm temperature--come together, things grow!

It's like that inside us, too. When the right conditions come together in our body-mind-heart, we grow and change; we experience more ease and wonder; we receive more insight and wisdom.

Sometimes it's hard to bring those conditions together because life is hard! Yet any wholesome seeds we plant--even if they're small--make a positive difference. They can shift our experience 1-degree, which is a beautiful thing.

In this morning's meditation, we'll plant seeds of ease, love, and openness in our body, mind, and heart. And we'll cultivate these seeds, which you can take with you through the weekend.

april 7, 2023

This week, I've been reflecting on two things...

Plants and trees start growing and budding based on the light. They know in their plant bones that it's time to sprout and they do, even with a foot of snow on top of them! I know I'm anthropomorphizing, but their trust in the process is amazing. They know they belong.

In prison this week, we talked about loneliness. This is especially "up" in prison, as they're isolated from society, not allowed to touch each other (no hugs), and there's an (understandable) lack of trust among residents. Yet loneliness is something everyone can relate to—we've all felt lonely. Ultimately, loneliness severs our sense of belonging. Unlike the plants, we don't trust the process.

Meditation helps us remember our deep belonging. Belonging to ourselves—we're okay in this moment just as we are. Belonging to each other—we're interconnected even when (especially when!) we feel alone. Belonging to the earth—we're not part of nature, we ARE nature.

This morning, we'll pause to honor our loneliness and to remember our belonging.

march 31, 2023

The word "spirit" (and spiritual and spirituality) has a Latin root which means "of or pertaining to breath, breathing, wind, or air." Our spirit, our life force, is breath. This is profound. 

Yet we often breathe on autopilot, not exploring the dimensions of breath.

Or we try to tightly control the breath, not allowing for its own flow and rhythm.

This morning, we'll explore the dance of breath. The depth and the width. The expansion and release in all directions.

march 24, 2023

The spring equinox was on Monday. Equal parts day and night.

It's a natural time for us to reflect on balance in our inner and outer lives. And to remember that balance is movement; it's not a steady-state. Yet another way that we don't "wrap up life." Instead, we move and flow.

In our meditation, we'll explore balance through movement (inner and outer expression). We'll explore balance through breath. And we'll explore balance through opening our hearts in all directions. It all belongs!

march 17, 2023

It feels important to bring loving-kindness into our meditation. During seasonal transitions, lots can arise. Our edges can meet the edges of others. And our own internal edges bump up against each other.

The research shows that loving-kindness practice is a fast-working path to compassion. Plus, it feels good. Even if it seems forced, it feels good in a big-picture way.

When we open our hearts and wish people well, we're doing the one thing within our power. We can't control life circumstances, but we can love!

Near the end of our practice, I'll bring in a practice similar to the "that is me" exercise I introduced months ago. Instead of "that is me" we'll explore "just like me." Just like me, this person wants to be happy. Just like me, this person wants to be free of suffering. It's another path to connection.

Settle in for a full dose of loving-kindness!

march 10, 2023

I recently led a mindfulness session at a library conference. In an individual conversation, the topic of email arose. Specifically, feeling the pull to check email and respond. Needing to be reachable and needing to reply quickly. This is the nature of our current culture. Yet the reality is we'll die with a full inbox. Things never get wrapped up.

Just yesterday, I received a new book of poetry in the mail. Laura Martin is a UCC pastor and writes beautiful, real poems. Her poem, "In this Day," starts with this sentence:

It is worth saying again that

you will never finish everything—

the laundry, the sorting,

the giving of your entire heart

to another.

This struck the same chord as my email conversation. We never wrap everything up. And still, we can be present in life. We can connect (again and again) with our being instead of our doings.

In the Zoom room, I'll read Martin's full poem, and we'll practice being okay with where things are.

march 3, 2023

This week, I noticed lots of internal resistance. Each day was full (in work and life) yet I felt tension around whether everything would get done and even some resentment about the fullness of my life. 

Not only does resistance hamper the quality of my work, it also gets in the way of joy.

We all experience weeks like this. The first part is noticing. The second step is intentionally shifting our mind-heart-body from tightness to release; from resistance to opening.

When we're in a resistant mind-state, this can be hard to do! Yet it's possible. Bit by bit. And perhaps with a little laughter.

We'll practice releasing and opening in our meditation this morning.

february 24, 2023

Here in Wisconsin, we experienced fierce weather on Wednesday night. Strong winds and heavy snow. Yet today the sun is out and the wind is quiet. Life is like this!

Some days/weeks/months are tumultuous and challenging. Other days/weeks/months are peaceful and flowing.

When we're in a place of ease, others might be struggling. When we're having a hard time, others might be joyful. Together, we move through this complex and beautiful life.

The Tibetan meditation practice of tonglen invites us to breathe in what's difficult and breathe out what's good. It's the opposite of what's often recommended yet it feels strangely healing.

Recently, I heard a meditation teacher speak about an extension of this practice. First, breathe in love, breathe out love. Then breathe in difficulty, breathe out love. After this, shift to breathe in love and breathe out difficulty. Finally, come back to breathe in love, breathe out love.

This version of tonglen that also takes care of the meditator. Ultimately, we all want to love and be loved.

We'll move through the tonglen process in our meditation this morning.

february 17, 2023

Dacher Keltner is an expert in the science of happiness. He posits that awe is a key component of happiness and well-being.

He defines awe as "being in the presence of something vast and mysterious that transcends your current understanding of the world." 

It's easy to feel awe while, say, hiking in the red rocks of Sedona. But an important finding of Keltner's work is that everyday awe is possible and makes a difference. It takes us out of our mental storylines (me, me, me) and opens us to a bigger perspective.

Nature is an everyday awe experience. Did you see the snow fall yesterday? Each one of those flakes is unique. How is that possible?

Music and art are everyday awe experiences. Notice how music evokes emotions and gets at feelings you might not yet be aware of. Notice how art provides a new, interesting perspective.

Meditation can be an everyday awe experience. What is awareness? Who is the "I" that's thinking these thoughts? Is there an "I"? How does this body do all the things it does?

This morning, we'll explore everyday awe in our meditation practice.

february 10, 2023

The earthquake in Turkey and Syria was/is devastating. So many lives taken in a few brief moments. Horrific news. And a reminder of the preciousness of this human life. We don't know what will happen tomorrow. So we practice being present today.

I was recently reminded of The Three Questions, a parable written by Leo Tolstoy. What is the most important time? Who is the most important person? What is the most important thing to do?

This very much relates to the preciousness of this one life we have. 

The most important time is now.

The most important person is whoever is in front of you.

The most important thing to do is to care.

Sometimes the person in front of us is ourselves! 

We'll bring these ideas into our meditation practice this morning.

february 3, 2023

I'll share another practice that I took into (and out of) retreat with me. It's a compassion practice of "that is me." 

Whenever judgment arises ("what is that person thinking?!?"), I pause. That was me in my younger life, that is me now (perhaps in moments), or that could be me in different circumstances. 

"That is me" connects me to other people. And it opens my heart to compassion.

In the Zoom room, I'll tell an embarrassing story that jump started my that-is-me practice. How I continued the practice while on retreat. And how it continues now, whenever I remember to remember.

We'll bring this compassion practice into our morning meditation. Opening our hearts and minds.

january 20, 2023

On my recent retreat, I practiced loving-kindness during all the seated meditations. Quickly, I had a new insight. I saw how the loving-kindness phrases were mostly external for me. External safety, external happiness, external ease.

Yet what's equally important is the internal safety, happiness, and ease. At times, my mind-heart is not safe. When I spin stories of shame or ruminate on ways I've been wronged, my mind is unsafe. This "selfing" mind-state constricts and harms.

So I shifted the phrases...

May I be safe and

May I be safe inside myself

This was a powerful shift in my attention and my intention.

Likewise, I wished the same for other people in my life.

This morning, we'll explore the inner and outer intention of loving-kindness practice.

january 11, 2023

So much of life (all of life?) is both/and rather than either/or. We must hold two (perhaps contradictory) things in our mind and heart as we move through life.

Sri Nisargadatta wrote, "Love says 'I am everything'. Wisdom says 'I am nothing'. Between the two, my life flows."

We are everything (our life matters, we're important) and we are nothing (our life swims in the human soup, we're insignificant). Both are true!

We must do hard things alone and the only way through is together. Another paradox.

We cultivate compassion yet we don't hold onto life so tightly. We're not in control. How can we be both nothing and everything? We'll explore this idea in meditation this morning.

january 6, 2023

When you're gripped with difficult emotions, it's helpful to practice self-compassion: notice the emotion (be mindful), place the emotion in a larger container (everyone feels this!), and send kindness inward (hand on heart, phrase of support).

Yet it's also helpful to follow these steps when feeling positive emotions. When you place your love or joy or calm in a bigger container (everyone feels this), you don't grip it so tightly. And in that space of generosity, you flow through life with more ease.

We'll explore these pieces of self-compassion within our meditation this morning. Honoring what's difficult and celebrating what's good in community (we all feel all the feels!).

december 30, 2022

On Sunday, we enter 2023. The flip of the calendar year leads to resolutions. I find that resolutions often come from a place of judgment and lack. It's more effective if we meet ourselves right where we are with acceptance. And from acceptance we can finally make the changes we seek.

When we meet ourselves right where we are, we're also better able to meet others right where they are.

We'll fold these ideas into a loving-kindness practice this morning. 

May we be safe.

May we be happy.

May we be healthy.

May we live with ease.

december 23, 2022

Early this morning, a new moon rose. The new-moon phase of the lunar cycle is a powerful time to listen inward and set intentions from the heart.

This new moon comes just before the Christmas holidays. Even better time to set intentions!

This time of year, our attention can be outward--external expectations, people pleasing, or pretending we're okay when we're not.

This morning, we'll turn our attention inward. What's most important (deep in our hearts)? How can we stay connected with ourselves as we connect with others?

Show up just as you are!

december 16, 2022

Wednesday is the winter solstice. The shortest day of the year. The darkness is an invitation to rest and reflect.

During a busy holiday month, solstice is a place to rest in the middle of things. Perhaps just an hour of quiet--removing technology, eating by candlelight, and orienting to the sun and the moon (not our phones). The to-do list can wait. Solstice reminds us about nature, presence, and slowing down.

In preparation for the solstice (rest in the middle of things), this morning we'll experience a version of mountain meditation. Life swirls around us yet we can find calm. Calm and steady like a mountain in the winter.

december 9, 2022

The winter temperatures are cold. The landscape is stark. The primal part of our human brain is in survival mode. And the evolved part of our brain can be overwhelmed with the difficulty in the world.

It's a natural protective response to close our hearts. Yet closing our hearts to the suffering also closes our hearts to the love and joy.

We need reminders (in safe-enough spaces) to open our hearts, feel what we feel, and move forward with love and intention.

This morning's meditation will invite our heart (individually and collectively) to open.

December 2, 2022

Winter is a season of hibernation and rest. Yet our culture (and our own expectations) keep moving quickly. This exhausts us!

Rest is essential. Rest, broadly speaking. We can rest our body by sleeping but we can also rest our body by moving it in a kind way or by sitting on the couch with no to-do list.

Besides our bodies, it's important to rest our minds and hearts. This could mean daydreaming or stepping away from technology (take a walk without your phone) or not responding to texts and emails right away. It could mean a news freeze. Or intentional ways that you fill your joy cup.

All of this is rest. And it's vital.

This morning, we'll explore and cultivate rest during our meditation together.

november 23, 2022

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We're all aware of the message of gratitude. Yet human relationships are complex. They're not always easy. Whether we're alone or with 50 people, junk can arise.

What's most important is for us to find abundance and appreciation within; to be present for ourselves and each other; to take a pause.

This morning, we'll enter Thanksgiving with intention. We'll listen to our heart and choose how to inhabit this holiday. What matters most?

november 18, 2022

Yesterday, I went to Woodman's for groceries. It was busy! People preparing for Thanksgiving meals and family gatherings.

There's a lovely energy around sharing food. Yet there's also a frenetic energy around "getting everything done" and having things be "perfect" (we know that's not possible!).

As I walked through the aisles, I found the topic for today's meditation: ease, calm, presence.

Holidays start to up the ante. But we can find calm within ourselves. That's a beautiful realization: The calm isn't outside us, it's inside us.

november 11, 2022

At Oshkosh Correctional this week, we talked about generosity. It's an interesting topic in prison, because relationships there can be transactional. If a prisoner gives too freely, then others expect that of them.

Yet I think the topic of generosity is complicated for all of us. We often think of generosity as monetary giving yet it can be so much more! It's pausing and listening (without interruptions). It's letting go of the need to be right. It's seeing ourselves and each other with fresh eyes. It's an ordinary act of kindness.

This morning, we'll bring generosity (broadly defined) into our meditation practice.

november 4, 2022

At Oshkosh Correctional this week, we practiced loving-kindness meditation. For some prisoners, this was their first exposure to the practice. Afterward, they shared their experience.

For some, it was easy and heart-filling. For others, it was challenging. In particular, it was challenging to give themselves love or to offer kindness to someone they don't like or to wish the world well when it feels like we're in crisis.

I think we can relate to all these difficulties!

And still, we trust in this practice. Even if it's hard, it creates a shift.

We're firmly in election season. Signs and ads everywhere. A feeling of "us" and "them." This constricts our minds and hearts. And while it's hard to wish people happiness when we strongly disagree with their worldview, it's possible to wish them to be free from suffering and fear and hate. We want this for everyone!

We'll practice loving-kindness this morning with a nod to the challenges. Keeping it real!

october 28, 2022

Our dear friend Ruth lost her brother Tom. (Thanks, Ruth, for sharing so openly last Friday.) Loss is a big part of life. Grief accompanies love.

People we love die. Tragedies happen in our communities. We lose mental and physical abilities. We lose relationships. Grief happens in big and small ways.

As humans, we want to love and be loved. And with that love comes loss.

How do we hold this in our heart? Gently and kindly.

This morning, we'll explore love and loss within our meditation.

october 21, 2022

There's an earthiness to autumn. We're encouraged to ground ourselves (put energy into our roots). This is what the season of fall inspires.

Still, our minds (the worries and plans and ...) bring anxious energy into our heads. This is what it means to be human in this complex world.

We need reminders—from the trees, from our own awareness—to settle and ground. We need reminders to intentionally move energy from our minds down into our bodies. To feel our feet on the ground. To feel a connection with the earth.

We'll bring these ideas into our meditation this morning.

october 14, 2022

Being immersed in the wilderness reminds me of what's good and kind and beautiful in our world. In the forest, everything belongs. There's no "us" and "them." It's "we." The forest itself (including fungi on the ground) is community. We humans, as passing visitors, are also held by the natural world. There's a strong sense of belonging.

On my second day back from the wilderness, I went to Oshkosh Correctional to have three 1:1 visits with members of the mindfulness group. Each prisoner was working with a sense of not belonging; not having safe-enough space; not feeling held.

Those of us not in prison also work with these feelings. We long for spaces where we can show up as-is; where we can be real; where we're seen, heard, and accepted.

Ultimately, a sense of belonging comes from within. We belong to ourselves (wholeheartedly!). This is where we begin. From that settled place of "enoughness," we move outward, meeting other people right where they are. Widening the circle of belonging.

We'll practice this in our meditation today.

October 7, 2022

Life is hard! It's beautiful and wondrous, too, but it's hard. We all experience difficulty both short- and long-term. It's vital that we meet ourselves with kindness. Yet we're harder on ourselves than anyone else in our lives. A habit created for hosts of reasons. But this habit can change.

We might not morph from being our worst critic to being our own best friend, but we can make 1-degree shifts. We can begin to care about our own experience. Instead of pushing away what's difficult, we can move toward it with curiosity. We can care.

This morning, we'll bring self-compassion into all aspects of the meditation. Meeting ourselves right where we are. Softening. Caring. Honoring what's hard. Sending kind messages inward.