BORN JOY

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The Dance of Connection

Last week, I led an in-person mindfulness session for teachers at an elementary school. It was an hour of self-care before they began an uncertain school year. We honored what's difficult (really, really difficult) and we embraced what's good. Each teacher wrote anonymously on a note card (the difficult and the good). Then they dropped these note cards in a box for me to share with the group. That sharing was deep, real, and powerful. Here are a few expressions of what's difficult:

  • I feel overwhelmed and worried about failing my students.

  • I’m worried that I’m going to be exhausted forever and I will never truly enjoy anything.

  • Feeling like I need to have answers to all the unknowns.

  • My husband furloughed from his job.

  • Extended family member’s health situations.

  • The feeling of being unworthy or unlovable.

  • Sadness about missing family celebrations, vacations that we’ve looked forward to for a long time.

  • The implications of COVID on the mental health of my own children, especially with virtual learning and loss of socialization.

  • Not being able to hug children. Worried about getting sick and planning for the unknown.

  • It’s hard to support each other when we’re all struggling with things so much more during this time. It’s hard to need so much more support from each other when you know it is hard for everyone to give right now.

I imagine each of these statements resonates (for everyone!). We’re all experiencing loss, frustration, loneliness, anxiety, care, and compassion. Consider the last statement: How do we support each other when we’re all depleted?

This answer changes from moment to moment. Some days, I have extra capacity, much to give. Other days, I’m tired and sad. The pandemic offers opportunities to be real in the moment: I need help right now (perhaps asking multiple people); I can provide support right now (again, looking broadly). Yet our emotional landscape might change the next day. It’s important that we honor our inner compass, allow ourselves (and others) to change our minds, and be true to what’s right in front of us.

We’re messy, complicated, amazing, resilient, imperfect, and beautiful human beings. What’s “up” for you right now? How are you doing (really, truly) in this moment?