Yesterday, I accomplished a task that’s been on my to-list for 7 months. It only took 20 minutes. Rather than celebrating, I thought, “Why did I wait so long?” Today, I worked on a project, which I thought would take 2 hours yet extended far beyond that time (and it’s not yet complete). Again, the judgment, “Why is this taking so long?” as if it’s a personal flaw.

We’re really hard on ourselves! I practice and teach self-compassion. And still, I lapse into judgment coupled with unrealistic internal expectations. The reality is that we all make mistakes. We meet our edge. Our edge meets another person’s edge. We procrastinate an unwelcome task. We stall on a new project. And it’s all okay! Because it’s never as awful as our inner-critic claims. Often, it’s normal and human and even celebratory. We learn, we change, and we grow.

None of us is defined by our mistakes. That’s not who we are. We’re so much more. Self-compassion allows us to pause, shift course, and begin anew.